dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize