just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
