it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
