im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
