HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize