is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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