your room smells of hookers.
And success
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
