Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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