Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
