Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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