He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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