I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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