my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
