I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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