Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
