She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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