Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
