Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
