Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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