I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
