come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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