She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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