I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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