my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
