sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are the jesus of drinking
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize