I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
