Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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