btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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