yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
