Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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