Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
