you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
