What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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