you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
