And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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