it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
