I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
