i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
