I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
