Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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