Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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