She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize