i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
