Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
