He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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