Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
