Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
