Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize