Screwed.edu
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize