it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
