im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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