Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
