Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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