Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
