Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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