His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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