be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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