Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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