just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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