Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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